So You’re Thinking About Dating a Dev

So You’re Thinking About Dating a Dev

My experience has been that for many people who have disabilities, finding out about devs is cool and exciting at first.¬† What a great thing, you might think, that someone will actually want my body as it is instead of just putting up with it.¬†¬† After some thought, though, some concerns might arise.¬† I want to address those concerns.¬† Based on myself and many messages and conversations that I’ve had with other devs, I’m putting some common questions here. Please ask your own questions in the comments or by email!¬† I will update the post to reflect all the questions. Also, a word of explanation.¬† There is a lot of variety among devs.¬† As you might expect, they are people just like every one else.¬† A few of them are creepy or scary.¬† Most are not.¬† Most...

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Your Advice Needed

Your Advice Needed

The question: Is disability a dating game changer? The background: Many people like to say that they don’t like game playing in dating.¬† However, I have come to believe that a little bit of game playing in the beginning is necessary.¬† It’s very rare that you can get away with showing your whole hand right from the start.¬† It scares and overwhelms the other person, particularly because chances are that you are on different places on each others lists. What do I mean by lists? I mean that you’re out on the dating market, you’re talking to a few people, looking at possibilities, not too sure yet.¬† At some point someone you meet starts to stand out from the rest and that person becomes number one on your list.¬† That’s the person that you...

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Glee- Born This Way

Glee- Born This Way

This was an amazing episode. ¬†It focused on accepting yourself with all the things that you think need fixing, the things you don’t like about yourself. ¬†It was based around Lady Gaga’s new song “Born This Way.” ¬†I highly recommend this one, even if you’re not a big Glee fan (and side note, Kurt’s number from Sunset Boulevard was possibly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard on the show, I had tears streaming down my face by the end of it). For the big number at the end, all the kids wore white t-shirts with black lettering spelling out the one thing they are most self-conscious about. ¬†It was powerful and moving. Artie’s t-shirt said “four-eyes.” ¬†He was not a focus on this episode, but even so, I...

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Dexter-it gets worse

Dexter-it gets worse

My friend was certainly right to tell me I was not going to be happy with Dexter. I’m not sure that I can keep watching this show, it upsets me so much. This time the problem isn’t with portrayal of disability, but with portrayal of devotees. The police are looking for a devotee in connection with this serial killing. It isn’t clear to me why. One of the characters tells another that there is indeed an amputee fetish and gives the scientific name for it, then says,”but don’t let them hear you call them that, they prefer the term ‘devotee.'” Really? I have no idea who came up with that word for it, but I think it’s stupid. I wish there were a better one. But yes, it is better than having it referred to like some kind...

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You Might Be a Devotee If…

You Might Be a Devotee If…

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy… This is a humor post, so all in good fun! ¬†I compiled these from friends as well as my own contributions. ¬†Some are not specific to devs, but I think they are all fun: You might be a devotee if… ¬† …the squeaky sound of a wheel on tile makes your pulse race …you’re able-bodied, but you have an account at a dating site for disabled people. … you’ve ever learned of someone’s bathroom habits in the first 10 minutes of an IM conversation …you never pass an elevator without a hopeful glance …you use photoshop to put people into wheelchairs …you’ve ever walked around your house in a 28″ wide box to make sure there are good wheelchair paths … a...

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Dexter

Dexter

This is another show I only just started watching. ¬†I’m on episode five. ¬†I watched it last night at a friend’s house and as it came time to interview a kidnap victim who had had one foot and one hand chopped off, my friend said, “Oh, you’re going to hate this next part.” Do my friends know me or what? He was right. ¬†I was quite irritated when this man said that probably a woman would never even look at him again. ¬†In support of this idea, one of the main characters buys him a hooker. Seriously? ¬†Once he puts on the¬†prostheses¬†that the hospital was donating to him it would be hard for anyone to even notice he was missing anything. ¬†But even going beyond that, there are people with much more¬†noticeable¬†and debilitating disabilities...

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