Romantic Friday Writers: Challenge “Surrender”

Romantic Friday Writers: Challenge “Surrender”

http://fridaynightwriters.blogspot.com/ This blog has a challenge for writers of romance/love stories to write 400 words on a theme each Friday.  I thought I would participate occasionally.   Today’s theme was “surrender.”  My entry is a 400 word excerpt of a WIP (work-in-progress) that will be going into my Dev Dreams: Volume Two.

 

***

There are relatives everywhere and no matter which way I turn I can feel the glare from my mother, her eyes continually trying to remind me of her edict: act normal.

Even though we are supposedly here to welcome Matt home, no one is paying much attention to him. They are trying so hard to pretend nothing has changed. Uncle Seth has the grill open, but he’s having trouble turning it on. Aunt Kathy and my mom are hovering like wasps. Tracy’s kids are chasing each other under the lawn chairs.

It’s too chaoric. I have to get away. Back into Aunt Kathy’s very pink house. Pink granite counters in the open kitchen, several potted plants and white ceramics on them; lace curtains on all the windows, which are open to the summer breeze; pink walls with white stencils and candles labeled “sugar cookie.” I hurry down the hall and pull open the guest bathroom, nearly shriek when I realize Matt is there.

I stand, stunned, in the doorway. This is the first time I’ve really looked at him since we got here. The wheelchair, already with a few scuff marks on its frame, parked in front of the toilet; the empty space where his legs should be; his arms thicker with muscle than they used to be. His military haircut has grown out and his light brown hair is shaggier than I’ve ever seen it. It makes him look younger, like when we were kids.

He looks down at his hands, over to the toilet. “Could you get my mom?” he says. It’s the first sentence he’s spoken to me in fifteen years.

Instead I come further into the room and shut the door behind me.

Years of longing are pulsing through me. The akwardness between us has always sizzled with electricty for me. I can resist no longer. I come at him quickly, he can’t quite finish saying, “What are you doing?” before my lips are on his.

He tastes exactly as I imagined he would. The reality of his chapped lips and breath like cinnamon gum overwhelms me. He is kissing me back. His rough hands have grabbed my skinny bare arms and pulled me closer. It feels inevitable now, that we both succumb to a desire that has been building since I was born.

***

 

15 Comments

  1. Francine Howarth
    Jul 15, 2011

    Hi Ruth, and welcome to RFW.

    This is a lovely, touching snippet! The descriptions paint a vivid image of the house, and essence of Matt: enough to form basic outline. I suspect more becomes obvious further on. 🙂

    best
    F

  2. Paula Martin
    Jul 15, 2011

    A great excerpt – love the ‘act normal’ when everyone is making an effort to do so, and then the moment when she surrenders to her long-held longing. Love this!

    • RuthMadison
      Jul 15, 2011

      Thank you! Yes, I think most of this story will be about what does it mean to “act normal”!

  3. Andy
    Jul 15, 2011

    Hello & welcome to Romantic Friday Writers.
    All too often, people assume that because someone might not look or act like us, they don’t feel. People with disabilities STILL have desires & needs just like the rest of us.

    This was indeed a vivid, sweet surrender.

    Very nicely done!

    • RuthMadison
      Jul 15, 2011

      Yes, definitely true. Thanks for the comment!

  4. Heaven
    Jul 15, 2011

    Nice excerpt…sweet surrender in the last lines.

    Welcome to RFW~

  5. Marsha A. Moore
    Jul 16, 2011

    Lots of internal conflict there behind the actual words. Interesting how everything outside that bathroom is supposed to be normal and sweet, from action to pick decor. But the true sweetness is that act in the bathroom. Nice!

  6. Beverly Diehl
    Jul 16, 2011

    Ruth, I’m loving this! One of the hottest guys I ever noticed was in a wheelchair – you make this beautifully sensual and feel real, right down to the cinnamon gum and chapped lips. Kudos to you!

  7. Donna Hole
    Jul 16, 2011

    Sensual and visual. Her tension was a character all by itself. An engaging read, with strong characters.

    ……dhole

  8. Sarcasm Goddess
    Jul 16, 2011

    This was so good! Great job setting the stage, I felt like I was there. I could see the Aunt and mom hovering, the grill, the kids playing. And the surrender? LOVED IT! What happens next?

    • RuthMadison
      Jul 16, 2011

      lol. Guess you’ll have to read my collection when it’s finished 😛 I have three major writing projects to finish before I can get back to this, but these characters have been calling to me.

  9. GirlWithTheCane
    Jul 16, 2011

    Wow! This is great! I would love to read more of your writing…

    • RuthMadison
      Jul 16, 2011

      Thank you! There’s a bit of my writing available and I’m hard at work on more stories and books!

  10. Kiru Taye
    Jul 18, 2011

    Oh… such sweet surrender. Beautiful excerpt. I like it.

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