You Might Be a Devotee If…

You Might Be a Devotee If…

In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy… This is a humor post, so all in good fun!  I compiled these from friends as well as my own contributions.  Some are not specific to devs, but I think they are all fun:

You might be a devotee if…

 

…the squeaky sound of a wheel on tile makes your pulse race

…you’re able-bodied, but you have an account at a dating site for disabled people.

… you’ve ever learned of someone’s bathroom habits in the first 10 minutes of an IM conversation

…you never pass an elevator without a hopeful glance

…you use photoshop to put people into wheelchairs

…you’ve ever walked around your house in a 28″ wide box to make sure there are good wheelchair paths

… a “transfer” has nothing to do with changing jobs

… at a concert, behind the handicapped section is better than front row

… you have to stop yourself from correcting friends on disability lingo

… you’ll only live on the first floor

… you evaluate the accessibility of every place you go and every event you attend

… you regularly nearly run off the road while playing spot the home ramp

..you have tire tracks on the roof of your car, and they’re not from a bike

… you lose the thread of conversation with your friends when strollers, bicycles or wheeled conveyances of any sort roll through your peripheral vision

…you are always scanning the horizon at waist/chest level for hot guys and not even noticing all the ones at eye level

…YouTube is where you get your porn

…you’ve ever thought “this shower chair makes my butt look big”

…you spot a hot wheeler in the grocery store and go back over the same isles 6 times to end up in the same one at the same time while trying to look nonchanlant

…you’ve ever seen a leg spasm and thought “That would make a good vibrator”

…you have two online identities, email addresses, logins and sets of passwords

…you’re late for work because you were following a wheeler… in your car… and almost ran off the road

…you notice a wheelchair in the back of a car on the highway, and follow it… and miss your exit

…you know where all the wheelchair seating sections are at your local sports/entertainment venues

…you still have your Becky doll…and her wheelchair

…you have a drawer full of medical supply catalogs

…you get annoyed when you see new construction in your neighborhood that isn’t accessible

…you use the term accessible and you mean “handicap accessible”

…you watched Blind Fury more than once…on purpose

… you’ve got more internet stealth skills than that chick on Criminal Minds. (And they’re frickin’ NECESSARY!)

…you get angry at the handicapped parking spaces in front of your work because they are empty

19 Comments

  1. Devodiva88
    Apr 6, 2011

    I love these, Ruth 🙂

    I have one addition:

    “You check out every parked van you pass to see if it has that special blue placard – if it does, you linger to see who comes along”.

  2. Nate
    Apr 6, 2011

    …you’ve ever seen a leg spasm and thought “That would make a good vibrator”

    lol! Never occurred to me.

    • RuthMadison
      Apr 7, 2011

      Guess you’re not a female dev, then 😛 lol. Actually, I hadn’t thought of that either and someone submitted it to me by email.

    • Devodiva88
      Apr 10, 2011

      LOL, it´s funny, but that thought never occured to me either.

  3. Melissa
    Apr 6, 2011

    <3 these!! 🙂

  4. Carl Thompson
    Apr 7, 2011

    Do these people really exist? And if so, where can I meet them?

    • RuthMadison
      Apr 7, 2011

      They do indeed. I’m one of them. Check out my links on the left side, there’s an essay about what devoteeism is and I’ve written a book about it as well.

    • Devodiva88
      Apr 10, 2011

      Yes, we do exist! I am one of them too 🙂

  5. Devodiva88
    Apr 10, 2011

    Another addition (one which happened to me):

    “You might be a devotee, if you have had someone crawl up your flight of stairs by the use of their hands – and not because they were drunk!”
    😀

    • RuthMadison
      Apr 11, 2011

      Ah yes, I’ve had that too! And my neighbor the next day complimented me on “helping” the guy. Right. If not for me, he wouldn’t have been climbing the stairs in the first place!

      • Devodiva88
        Apr 13, 2011

        LOL, my neighbour told me how impressed she was that he could climb the stairs by the use of his hands – she never knew why he was there in the first place 😀

  6. RuthMadison
    Apr 19, 2011

    Got another one:

    …when you think the Billy Joel lyric “alone in your electric chair” (from You May Be Right) means he’s singing about a quadriplegic girl.

    It took me years after I first heard that song to realize what that line really meant!

    • Devodiva88
      Apr 27, 2011

      Umm, I guess it´s about the death penalty? I don´t know the lyrics but it IS creepy, isn´t it?

      • RuthMadison
        Apr 27, 2011

        Lately I’ve been thinking that it’s just about someone who is a martyr in her own mind, a self-imposed, metaphorical death penalty…?

  7. Merry
    Apr 27, 2011

    Hee: yep 🙂
    as well as:
    …You’ve already taught yourself braille in the hope that you might need to use it on a valentine’s card one day
    (some of us like more than just wheels!)

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